Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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