Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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