shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
