The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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