Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
