Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
