I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
false alarm. still invincible.
nutella sex= disaster
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
