I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
