Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
