4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
