this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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