Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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