he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
