I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I skipped work to stalk him.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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