When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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