I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
