I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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