haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
