My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
