Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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