I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
