apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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