Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
