Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
