Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
