if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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