Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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