don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
