apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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