It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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