I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
