My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
