She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Congratulations! We have a period
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
