We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
