So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
