there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
