i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
