my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
