Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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