I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
