Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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