nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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