he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
