Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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