i will never coherently bang her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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