1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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