Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
