yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
