I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
