If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
