Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
